Often you go into situations not really knowing how they will impact you or what lessons you will learn from them. This is our brief story of Nicholas and how he changed our world. It has taken me over a month to be able to post on this subject without tearing up, thinking about how Nicholas is doing and the just plain beautiful moments we had together. Well, so much for that, I can barely see through my silent tears right now (I know, what a sap), but must share our story. Lesson #1 – a child does not have to be genetically yours for you to love him/her as your own. Taking care of a little one who is completely dependent on you and looks at you as if you are the best thing since sliced bread has a strange way of blurring the genetic code and burning one just as strong on your heart.
Nicholas was a sweet little 14 month old Chinese boy when we decided to foster him while his adoptive mother was completing the necessary documents to pick him up. As a result of being in the orphanage for all of his short life he was quiet and somewhat withdrawn, but that did not last long at all. Lesson #2 – Nurturing has a magical positive effect on the soul of a human being and Nicholas reminded us of that very quickly. Within a couple of days with us Nicholas was full of energy, was alert and curious as any other healthy and normal child of his age would be, if not more. Remember coming home from work on the third day and seeing my wife on the sofa saying to me…”wow do I feel old, Nicholas is wearing me out. I am beat!”
Funny how much you remember and forget from when you reared your own children. Nicholas brought back so many fond memories from the days our two girls were his age, we had so much fun doing with Nicholas many of the same fun things we did with them. Nicholas developed quite an appetite, and he loved just about anything that we would give him; except ice cream. Remember the first time he tried it, his face contorted and spat it out immediately, his face told us he really did not enjoy the cold sensation at all.
Apologies for the number of pictures, but had a real hard time selecting just a few from what we have.

Nicholas loves taking a bath. He had a blast until we had to rinse the shampoo; it went downhill from there, but he seemed to forget about it quickly.

Nicholas with his orphanage hair cut and right out of the tub. Looking good Nick!
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About a week after we brought Nicholas home we took him to the park across our apartment. We had a great time playing on the grounds. He adjusted so quickly to his new surroundings, we were very happy about that

My wife just eating up every second with Nicholas. I was right there with her.

This picture has several of Nicholas moods. Love the one at the center; Nicholas looking at my wife Bethe with such "wow" eyes. How can you not love this kid!

We have so many pictures of Nicholas it may be embarrassing. As mentioned before, he loves food. We gave them just about everything we ate. Of course we would cut it all up so that he would digest properly. In this case though we just gave him a corn on the cob and he just went to town using the few teeth he had at the time.

Nicholas has an eye for the ladies. Wherever we went, if he spotted a girl he would turn the charm several notches and he would get their attention. This waitress played a miniature harmonica for him and the brought him an origami bird we still have.
Our very good friends, Ali and Nastaran, also spent lots of time with Nicholas. They became very attached and loved to play with him. Below I am adding some of those times with Ali and Nastaran.

Nicholas playing peek-a-boo with Ali. Start at bottom right and go counterclockwise. My wife taught Nicholas this and he just loved it. I taught him to high-five, he was very quick at doing it. In this picture you can see that he really enjoyed Ali. That smile and laughter is priceless.

Close examination of Ali's teeth. Nicholas seem to have this curiosity about teeth. Maybe he will be a dentist? Ali just letting Nicholas do whatever on his face. They were a great fun team together.

One of the most favorite pictures from Nicholas. The smiles on both say it all. We were having lunch at our favorite Indian place near by our place and Ali saw a hat he place on Nicholas for fun. Nicholas thought it was the funniest thing as you can see.

Getting ready to meet Ali and Nastaran for a walk in a cold, but sunny day. Nicholas has a great sense of style as you can see.

Three cool dudes ready for a fun day.

I look way cooler than you do...check out my hat/shades combo...you see?

Ali and Nastaran playing with Nicholas just before we put him in bed. He knew bedtime was coming so he was not too happy to say goodbye.

Nicholas and Bethe inside the Panmen Gate tower, a very historic spot in Suzhou.

Nicholas having fun with Bethe...were are your eyes mama?

Nicholas and I watching TV; his monkey friend close by.
As you can see from the pictures we all enjoyed having Nicholas with us. It was a huge blessing seeing him flourish in such a short amount of time. Below is a brief video of Bethe and Nicholas chasing each other. We love this kid. Next post will have part two; Nicholas with our girls and the dreaded goodbye.
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by Carlos Causillas
1 comment
The lessons you learned are SO true and you worded them in such a powerful and meaningful way. The pictures are beautiful and truly capture the love you all shared. You changed Nicholas's life forever, just as he changed yours. Thank you for sharing this wonderful heartfelt post.